I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
