I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize