Can Purell be used as lube?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize