So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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