Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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