when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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