dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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