the day after is always just damage control
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
