batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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