Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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