Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
