Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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