I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my poor anus
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
