Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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