My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
