Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
