Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize