I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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