i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
