brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
