college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
