We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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