My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
