how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize