I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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