i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
