Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
