You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
