someone threw a dead crab at me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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