i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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