My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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