So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize