belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Redeem this text for a blowjob
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
