OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
