Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
