there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
