Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
two words...techno handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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