Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Less talking, more tequila
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
