Apparently you make a good broom.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
