Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
