You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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