I'm really into asian looking animals
and she was petting her beer can
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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