I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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