I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize