when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
