First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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