i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
