Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
