Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
