North Korea, Best Korea!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
