You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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