At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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