Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
