Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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