He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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