I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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