You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
