I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
