that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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