I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
