Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize