be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
