Can i not drive my cunt home
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
