i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
