I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
