Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I could have mohawked her pubes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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