Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
