Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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