check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
